I forgave someone tonight.
I hadn’t planned it, but the opportunity arose, and I realized it was past time.
Looking back now, it wasn’t a huge violation, but at the time it seemed that way. Thankfully, the distance of time gives a different perspective and allows us to gradually let go of some of those infractions.
This person had broken a boundary with me, and even at the time I could see something of my own stupidity and naive trust. I carried the grudge of the violation for many years, even though I had made an effort at forgiveness in the week of the hurt. I was young and an expectation was broken.
I didn’t make the forgiveness explicit, but I hope it was conveyed in the mere act of conversation. Genuine, engaged and open conversation. In my heart I was saying the words “I forgive you” and feeling the fresh wind of release blow through my heart.
Through our conversation, I discovered a broken place in this person, and I felt compassion. It was a good thing.
As I go from gathering to gathering, friend to friend, new acquaintance to new acquaintance, it’s like little globs of salve being applied to my still red wounds. Through scripture, prayer, song, personal encounters, I feel healing leaking out in the form of tears.
I had mixed feelings about attending this convention, but God is proving to me that I am valued, cared for, and still able to minister to others.
Thank you, God. Thank you.