Almost Like Being in Love

If I could whisper to you, I would tell you about my walk this evening. I went out later than usual and it was such a blessing. In my younger years, back when I went to church camp, either as a camper or a leader, I had great encounters with God. Oh, how I have missed those nights!

My habit was to steal out to the edge of the lake and look up into the starry night sky, allowing myself to be drawn into the deeper reaches of the universe. There is a way of describing it that I learned from Godly Play and the story of Abram and Sarai. When Abran goes out to the edge of the desert at night “he draws so close to God and God draws so close to Abram that he knows exactly what God wants him to do.”

For years my greatest moments of spiritual growth came from those hours at lakeside, when it was just me and God. Some of my biggest life decisions were made in the moments, but mostly I just relished being in the arms of God, expressed in the night air and the twinkling stars. It was like two lovers wooing each other. If I knew I was truly alone, I would sing. The greatest thrills came with falling stars. It’s the language God and I share.

This evening was a visit, kind of like going to Brigadoon, complete with a thick misty fog. As I descended the walking path by the meadow I could see the mist had already begun to thicken and with it came the most ethereal vision… hundreds at first, and then thousands, of lightning bugs. They were coming up from the grass, out of the underbrush and off of the trees, like fairies dancing in the twilight.

I floated down the path, finding it quite impossible to keep up 4 mph clip I usually keep. I slowed and moved at the pace of wonder, around the edge of the field, back through the woodland creek path and around the edge of the field again, this time stopping to have a seat on the bench with my back to the last glimpses of sunlight fading down the golf course.

The first star of the evening appeared as I gazed up, looking for the face of God and feeling God’s urge to hear me sing again. I’m not sure I can even remember the last time I did that. It was long overdue. Lately it seems every moment of complete stillness is filled by God’s voice urging me to be comforted, encouraged, loved. Why don’t I do this more? My heart wants it. My brain wants it. My soul needs it.

But the husband and kids were waiting at home. It was past bedtime for the boys. And I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. Oh, but, who needs to eat when there is this? This moment of peace and joy and love and grace and soul-longing. It’s not Almost–This is being in Love.

Thank you God that you are not like Brigadoon, you are always there. I don’t have to wait for you to magically appear in a mist every 100 years.

302. Thousands of lightning bugs flashing like LEDs put on display

303. singing those olds songs again

304. memories of church camp

305. going to musicals with Mom & Dad

306. beautiful fragrant roses on my table

307. fun with boys at the bookstore

308. power outage that made me think on my feet

309. gluten free brownies

310. boys enjoying a breakfast sandwich on the way to the dentist

311. cleaning up spot by spot

312. boys excited about Father’s Day presents

313. my most wonderful Dad

314. my husband, a wonderful dad to our boys

315. pediatric dentist

316. husband who remembers to relight the pilot on the water heater

317. new toothbrushes (it’s the little things, don’t you think?)

318. deer hiding in the mist

319. bats

320. lunch at the park

321. British crafting magazines (a guilty pleasure!)

322. plain greek yoghurt with cinnamon and fresh berries

323. little boys loving kittens

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3 Responses to Almost Like Being in Love

  1. Grace – this is simply GORGEOUS. I can SEE what you’re describing here – you are so deeply invested in these words and they just shimmer. Thank you, thank you. God finds me at the shore, usually in the daytime – late afternoon – and if the dolphins are playing, then I am literally in heaven. But I think fireflies and stars could speak to me, too – wow. So glad you had this grace-filled experience today.

  2. Grace Walker says:

    Diana, the beach is my 2nd place for God encounters! For me, it’s all about water and stars.

  3. Court says:

    What a lovely post and reminder. I too feel this way, when I was single I scarce realized the grace of time I had before with no husband and kids but oh how he woos and never stops wooing!

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