Flexibility and Perseverance

I stayed up too late (again!) last night, I was trying to get everything ready for this morning. It was older boy’s first day at a camp that is new to us. It’s just a day program, but he still needed a change of clothes and shoes, a hat, sunscreen, sunglasses, a plastic bag for wet things, a lunch box complete with lunch and snacks, and a water bottle. He’s a picky eater, I was having a hard time thinking of healthful, nutritious and tasty things to put in his bag that would sustain him through the day. He told me he wanted a grilled cheese sandwich (!?) for his lunch.

After much frustration, a missed bus, and the blessing of a good friend with a cell phone, we managed to get to where older boy was supposed to be, and in good time to boot! And then, one more blessing: one of the helpers for his group is a young man who was part of my husband’s college ministry! He’ll never know how much his presence calmed the frazzled mama’s nerves.

While I was lost on the road to the camp it reminded me how out of place and unprepared I have felt over the past 4-5 years. It always aggravates me when I feel like I should be prepared (but I’m not) and have everything in control (but I don’t). I have a need to know what the expectations are so that I can know when I’m meeting them. It’s even worse when everyone else (except me) seems to know what’s expected. I get frantic, teary-eyed, and I just want to go hide so that no one can see how much of a failure I am. The good thing is that I hate failure so much that I press on until I make it through. I may be a failure, but I don’t want to be a pitiful failure!

I think God appreciates my perseverance. At least I hope so! I don’t want to be too simplistic about this, but perseverance is all over the Bible and some of the greatest disappointments come in stories of the ones who give up. Being faithful to God (anything really) isn’t for the easily discouraged. There is so much to be gained from persistence, even when goal isn’t necessarily clear. Perhaps I need to remind myself daily to be open to the unexpected, the unplanned and the unknown. Having a flexible, open attitude has served me so well at the times I have chosen to employ it that it makes good sense to have use it daily. And, having a plan with a back-up plan would be helpful too!

266. clever writing

267. clean sheets

268. fresh little strawberries from our garden

269. birds around the feeder

270. beautiful weather

271. husband’s handiwork around the house

272. swimming lessons for younger boy

273. friends who help me find my way

274. friendly faces in new places

275. fresh cherries and apricots

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2 Responses to Flexibility and Perseverance

  1. Man, can I relate to this one! Told beautifully in the context of your nervous day with your boy at camp, this reflection captures so much of what is true for so many women I know: a desire to see ahead and control every possible outcome; a sense of being lost in the midst of all that effort to control; massive amounts of insecurity about how to possibly meet expectations we cannot even clearly see yet. Nice work.

  2. tinuviel says:

    “I have a need to know what the expectations are so that I can know when I’m meeting them. It’s even worse when everyone else (except me) seems to know what’s expected. I get frantic, teary-eyed, and I just want to go hide so that no one can see how much of a failure I am. ” Me, too!!!! Are you by any chance an oldest child? 🙂

    We have blackberries, but it’s far too hot for the strawberries now, if that’s any consolation. Thanks for visiting my place and taking time to respond. God be with you.

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